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  • Writer's pictureRobin Masters

Happy Birthday

It's no secret that birthdays are a great marker of time and certainly of how time passes so quickly. Before you know it your grandkids are graduating and getting married to have children of their own. Everybody's getting older, wiser and obviously being reminded that we only have so much time. Be sure you're spending it on the things you value and getting the jobs done that are important to you.

Spending time that is meaningful ensures that we stay connected and on good terms with all those in our inner circle; family, children, colleagues and close friends. Those good terms in turn take meaningful time to create and maintain. No matter who you talk to, there is always someone on the outs or living in a tense and taxing relationship with a loved one. In short, just not seeing eye to eye. It is stressful and upsetting. It is also wasting our time.

How did we get here and how do we get back? We celebrate birthdays as a marker in time that represents a milestone. A measure of distance equally calculated from one year to the next. Sometimes in our relationships, time slips away and so do the people we love. We differ, argue and find reason for distance, take sides with newer relationships and the whole lot of it creates a mess. No one seems to have the time or the patience or energy to deal with straightening it out to any level of mutual satisfaction.

Sometimes talking it out with a third party can give us a greater perspective, even professional counsel, maybe a new approach. There is a free distress line for any older adult to call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at this number 604-872-1234. There is also Wellness Together Canada or free interaction at Bounce Back Professional Counseling Services We're not meant to be misaligned with our loved ones, or even our own communities. It can happen to anyone. Just take in an hour or so of the six o'clock news. Relationships, couples and all families struggle. It's what we do to work our way back together that counts and lasts.

We didn't develop these oversized brains and capacities for learning and living for thousands of years without the trust and trials of our ancestors. Parents step in when children need guidance, grandparents contribute their wisdom to the family and communities help build better communities. Everyone deserves to be heard, everyone deserves to be given the same patience and grace that they hope to be accommodated with when in need.

Maybe there is a need in your own family that you could spend a little more time working on. A relationship tweak so that the communication is clear, feelings are accepted and respected. Is it time you let someone bend your ear a bit and worked out a difference or disagreement? Maybe before the next birthday...

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