The Final Farewell
Updated: Aug 22, 2020
One certainty we will all encounter in life is the loss of a parent. It's hard, no matter who you are and what your relationship with that parent is. It is a universally difficult human experience. Whether you're younger or older, whether it's anticipated or unexpected, it will effect you both physically and psychologically.
The loss of your mother or father can traumatize you and also transform you. This is especially so if your loss is sudden, through illness or accident. What can be much harder is a parent who's lost the desire for life. We must understand the importance of carrying on.
Understanding the process of loss is allowing ourselves to experience the grief, the anger and the sadness of all these emotions mixed. The stress one can feel will manifest in negative waves and we have to communicate and release what we are enduring and allow the process of grief and healing. We are social beings. Our relationships are deeply personal. Share your story and accept the help.
If we are not able to resolve our grief we know there are definite health risks. High stress and intense sorrow are well-known to trigger long-term genetic changes, immune disorders, hypertension and cardiac events. Continued stress brings on cancerous cells. The psychological impacts are even more unpredictable. Death is final and what dies with that loss is the possibility of reconciliation.
We can hold on to those rightfull feelings, allowing it the resentment and rage it creates. Our reasons may well be entitled but that last conversation is now sealed. Accepting that is a major part of moving forward.
If we were not able to say goodbye, we need to find the way. Even if we busy ourselves with more. More food, spending or working. Or allow ourselves the time for less. Relaxation, reflection, slowing down and conserving resources. Try to focus and have a purpose that is positive and productive.
Mostly, never underestimate the power that our parental figures had on our lives. Celebrate it! They could have been active loves in our lives or completely indirect influences and long-lost ghosts. They played a part in who you chose to become. The consequence of their connection always stays with you. It always will. Only the stars know what shines down upon us.